In the shower this morning, I was washing my hair and having a little chat with my higher self.
You know, as you do.
I was wondering why I triggered so hard over an aspect of my intuitive work. So I was feeling around and my guides were like, “I ain’t touching that one” and so I got nudged up to my higher self (wise self, small voice, whatever terminology lights your fire).
Here’s the booming, oh-holy-shit response I got:
“The ego triggers when you aren’t honoring your highest calling.”
Well done, higher self. That was a serious mic drop.
My first thought was, Wait a second. My ego goes the most apeshit when I AM honoring my highest calling.
To which my higher self replied, “Your ego goes apeshit when you’re pursuing your highest calling. Honoring your highest calling has a different flavor.”
Huh. Okay. Sure. Let's do this then.
And images flooded in:
Me, triggering when someone who hasn’t been doing this channeling stuff as long as I have gets tens of thousands of youtube views when I get, at best, dozens.
Me, triggering when someone who’s saying the same thing as me on Instagram gets hundreds of hearts and comments when I get crickets.
Okay, that’s far less mysterious than I initially imagined.
My ego goes nuts when I spend my time comparing myself to others rather than trusting and following my path. When I’m happily doing my thing, I don’t care what others are doing or what the response - to their work or mine - happens to be.
Dear Future Me:
For reference, “doing my thing” is writing and channeling and making things for the fun of it and sharing from the heart and resting and having fun.
Not scrolling through Instagram or Youtube and making up all sorts of stories about how I’m doing it wrong or aren’t as good as these other people or whatever other nonsense the brain hamsters spit out that day.
Present Me Who Just Talked To Our Higher Self and Wants to Help Us Remember This For Next Time, a Next Time That Will Probably Be In Two Hours Given Our Current Track Record
All that said, it’s totally okay for the ego to trigger! We be human and that’s what happens. No judgment needs to be made when the ego fulfills its function.
Life simply goes more smoothly and happily when we notice that the ego’s function is to demonstrate when we’re out of alignment with our soul and purpose.
Right. Got it.
Triggering is cool, feelings are cool, deep dives into the depths of suffering are cool. We just want to notice where all these things are pointing us, rather than getting lost in the experience.
Because all things - good, bad, indifferent, hideous and transcendent - are simply pointing us where we need to go.
Taking care to notice the message our soul is trying to send us through the feelings and experiences is what helps life really begin to move in a horses-and-sunsets sort of direction.