We all want to feel appreciated - for our work, for our hearts, for who we are.
When we love ourselves - truly, deeply, in the way that means external circumstances can’t sway our opinion of our worth - we attract a new level of experience.
Much of my work in this life has been on self-love - and I'm constantly finding deeper layers.
Because we're all being up-leveled and upgraded right now - in our experience, our relationships, our ability to help the world in the way we’re here to do - many of us are slamming into experiences that we really don’t want.
But there’s value in these experiences, in seeing where there are still holes in our self-perception, in the way we value ourselves.
Since I’ve been dating, I’ve had the opportunity to see myself reflected in the eyes of different people, people I wouldn’t otherwise have met. It’s amazing how often I can get caught in their story of who I am, rather than holding to what I know to be true.
I was recently was on the intense ride of a mini-relationship flame-out. I over-reacted, he over-reacted, and things were said. In those moments, I bought into his story about who I am. It took me almost a full day to realize that his perception of me was skewed by his own experiences and his own stories - and that my worth didn’t rest in his understanding of me.
But the places where I was buying into his story of me reflected those dark spots where I wasn't fully loving myself.
When we aren’t appreciating ourselves, we will attract experiences that reaffirm that. But there's value in that, as painful as it can be in the moment. Because it offers us the opportunity to dive deeper into the truth of who we are - whole, beautiful, completely and utterly loved. Always. No matter what external circumstances or stories are saying.
Once I stepped out of the relationship that was diminishing me and recommitted to the work of loving myself for exactly who I am, I had the opportunity to step into something so much more aligned - and found myself at Pixar's screening of Finding Dory, dancing and devouring hors d'oeuvres with a man who saw something different. (And who also happens to be really good at drawing a curmudgeonly red octopus for the big screen.)
To fully love yourself, you need to step out of situations where you aren't being valued.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it: The next time you aren’t feeling appreciated, ask yourself where the experience is mirroring your own view of yourself. Ask where you can give yourself more love and appreciation. Then it becomes easy to step out of the situation, or the situation shifts before you need to do anything at all.
Lots of love, my friends. From me - but, most of all, from you.
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