If I was going to feel overwhelming envy for a person who only exists in the realm of fairytale, you'd think I'd pick someone cool like Cinderella. Cinderella gets to ride around in a souped-up pumpkin and has a fairy godmother who gives her things. That sounds fun.
But, no. Instead, I choose to go insane with jealousy over Rip Van Winkle's sleep schedule. A hundred years sounds just about right today.
Bacon Sandwich Magic
Reason I work for myself #48: So that when someone's having a rough day because they took a super early flight that morning and didn't have time to eat before going to work, I can ask if they want me to drive over with bacon. And I can mean it.
Don't be too impressed, because 1) I demanded sainthood and a lot of praise for this and 2) I already had the bacon and 3) He was only ten minutes away. If he worked in North Hollywood, forget it. I'm not that nice.
So I've Decided This is 'Make Magic For Someone Else' Week
Bacon delivery, check. So that's Monday down. Leaving...the rest of the week. Crap. This is why I have to make grand pronouncements. Otherwise I'd never follow up.
Wait, No! Tuesday's Magic Goes To The Winner of the Gap Gift Card!
That was handy. Thanks, to-do list.
And the winner is...Snoozical! As chosen by the random number generator thoughtfully provided by the internet. Congratulations, Snoozical! For winning at the internet and for that adorable new baby.
Why You Don't Want To Be Friends With Me
I dance like a turkey in public. Then I do it again. Then I do it a third time in case you missed the first two. I threaten to show up at your Christmas party dressed as a Christmas pirate. I might make you go ice skating with me. At some point in our relationship, I will probably eat all your food. I will always eat all
Why You Do Want To Be Friends With Me
I might come to your house with bacon. But only if you're geographically convenient.