Left to Roll

Dance class usually makes me feel better about life - I get to spin and move, endorphins kick in, sweat flows, my brain disengages, and my daily life disappears for an hour. 

But today, I couldn't get the backward roll. Tip onto your right elbow, swing your left foot above your head, tuck your chin, roll to the back of the room. I just couldn't get there. As I stood behind my section of the class, scrambling to catch up while everyone else rolled perfectly with the music, I got hit with it: 

If I don't do it right, I'm alone. 

It felt like the room expanded and contracted around me as my heart flipped in my rib cage. One of the main limiting beliefs that's driven my life clicked into place like the last puzzle piece. 

Perfectionism is a tender spot for me. There's always this need to "do it right" and I think I finally understand why. If I don't do it right, then I get left out. If I don't do it right, then everyone rolls without me and I don't know how to catch up. 

Pretty deep for a Wednesday morning. 

Catching where we limit ourselves is crucial. Because I'm tired and it's been a long week, a long month, a long year, I don't know quite what I'm going to do with this. But awareness is plenty for now. Along with the knowledge that there is no right, there is no wrong, and I'm not going to be left behind if I'm not perfect.  

Christmas Obsessions

Surprising absolutely no one, my Christmas tree is ninety-seven percent animal. Glittering orange elephants march alongside homemade dragonflies. Flying pigs coast over mice sporting acorn caps. Thieving raccoons eye cheerfully beaded quail.

I love Christmas. Sticking my nose in my evergreen wreath, hot spiced cider, wrapping gifts. I love the music and the movies and dressing my car like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. Yes, I’m that person. So in that spirit ... 

Here's What I'm Obsessed With This December

Victorian Advent Calendar: My aunt sent me this digital Victorian advent calendar and it's charming. It's an animated Victorian village where snowflakes lightly fall and you can decorate the town Christmas tree and scroll around and be all steeped in Christmas cheer. Every morning I get all excited to click and see what's new. If you're a Christmas and Victoriana nerd like me, it's totally worth the four bucks

Christmas animal stories: I'm recording audio versions of the Christmas stories from my book, March of the Animals. One is being released every Thursday and I just love these stories so much. The first one is called Dance of the Dormouse and you can listen to it here

Essential Oils: I use them to lift my mood, my energy, and my vibration. I've been diffusing Holiday Joy every day and it makes my life smell like an evergreen forest in December. 

Candles: Burning candles at all hours of the day means I've had to replenish my stash twice in two weeks. But it brings light to the gloom and I feast on the warm glow. Metaphorically, of course.

Tea Cider: Credit for this genius idea goes to Peet's, but I've started making my own version at home. Fill one third of a mug with hot spiced cider from Trader Joe's and fill the rest with Orange Dulce Mighty Leaf tea and it's the best ever. 

Being pagan about winter: My witchy self loves winter solstice. Flickering candles on my altar, burning sage to clear old energies, reflecting on the year and creating what I want in the new. I love how pagan tradition brings light to the darkest part of the year. 


Light in the Winter's Dark

 

As winter deepens and the moon darkens, allow yourself to rest. Allow yourself to sink into the dreams of what’s possible, of what will blossom and bloom as we move into spring. But for now, allow everything you’ve done so far to be enough. Allow everything that has happened for you to be for your highest good. Allow yourself to breathe and open and welcome what will show up next - whether it looks the way you want or not.

Sometimes what we think we want isn’t what our soul truly longs for. If what’s showing up for you doesn’t look the way you’d like, allow yourself to move inward and feel what is asking to be shown, asking for your attention.

Your attention is your true power and is fully within your control. You can guide your attention toward what you want, toward what you long to create for yourself and in your world.

As the days grow shorter, you are being offered a beautiful space of reflection and shown how to create light in the dark. For your ability to create light in the dark is true magic and will light not only your life but the lives of those around you.

For Writers

IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU ARE A GENIUS.

Deeply gifted and full of bright potential. If you aren't feeling your genius at this particular moment, let me give you a spark:

Your writing is needed  -  now more than ever. Your words matter. It may feel like you’re just sitting in a chair, clacking away at a laptop, but you’re changing lives. You’re offering hope where there was none. Your stories offer relief and your ideas offer wisdom and your willingness to shine a flashlight on the murkiest edges of your own humanity help us see that we are all murky  - and we all have light.

We all have the key that unlocks our genius. Maybe it was buried years ago and now you need to dig for it. Maybe you tossed it into a hydrangea bush and walked away. Maybe you just need to try your key in a new door.

Spoiler alert: the key to our art is the key to ourselves, and the key to ourselves is the key to our art. 

If you’re willing to pull out the demons hiding behind your rib cage and the gremlins creeping about your skull, you will find your key. It’s not always easy, it’s certainly not always fun, but I promise you  -  if you keep moving, keep taking care of yourself, keep creating, and keep digging into the messy bits of your life and soul  -  it will get fun.