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I Have Questions


I'm in the between. The place where things are unsettled and confused and I've been unplugged from one thing but not yet plugged into the next thing. I left my apartment in LA last month, but I haven't yet decided where or how I want to settle again. I have space to travel but I haven't yet figured out how to go. I'm trying to be easier in the uncertainty of my life, while wondering if I'm not doing enough.

That's a lot of deciding and figuring and trying and wondering. Every time these dreaded -ings pop up in my brain space, I focus on what better -ings I should insert into my life. Trusting. Surrendering. Being. Especially being okay in the limbo. Taking a deep breath when my brain starts thrashing like a landed sturgeon at the idea of trusting and surrendering rather than struggling and striving. I don't know what Puritan strain has convinced me that laboring for every small thing is virtuous, but it's exhausting.


How do you create what you want without fretting about it? How do you take the action you need to take from a place that feels good rather than a place that feels panicked? How do you stop resisting and start flowing? How do you loosen your grip on the things you want so that they have a chance in hell of getting to you?

I hope you're not waiting for me to have the answers to these questions, because I really don't. All I have is another moment to do another thing and hope that it all takes me where I need to be.

In the mean time, I climb for three hours to look at this:


It's not a bad place to be for awhile.