Who else has one hell of a holy-whoa full moon hangover?
If you are raising your hand right now, hi. You are my tribe.
Shifts have been rolling in, fast and determined, which is what happens when you let the feisty phoenix give your life and soul a fiery blast.
I’ve been feeling the shift coming on for the past few weeks, which is why I stepped back from anything that drained me, started drinking ridiculous amounts of water, and focusing on healing myself over everything else.
As much as I want kids, I’m really glad I didn’t have them this month, because they probably would’ve demanded things. Like love. And food. And it was all I could do to get myself food, much less love.
Fully surrendering the illusion that I have any brand of control over my life did not come easy. Wading through the muck that was floating to the surface was a Shawshank Redemption-style army crawl through the sewer of my soul.
I want control. I tried to wrest control. I did everything in my rather stubborn power to make the universe bend to my will.
And, sure, the universe will bend to me.
But not by doing what I was doing.
What I was doing just made the universe laugh at me.
(Rude.)
Because, as ever, I need to focus on what’s happening internally.
I had to fill up my own damn cup - by crying, moving through old emotions and energy that got stuck in my spleen sometime in mid-2007, roaming the seashore, and drinking green juice and eating potato chips. By meditating and reading Harry Potter. By connecting with my heart and higher self and watching Netflix.
The human and the divine in one big messy orgy of It’s Goddamn Time and This Shift Is Coming Like It Or Not.
Halfway through, I hated it and was mad at it.
Now that I’m on the downhill slide, I like it.
It feels good to move through something big and dark-feeling and come out the other side with your light back on.
Here Are Some Things I Learned (Again) And Hope To Remember This Time
(Note to self: Remembering simply requires daily practice.)
Connect daily with my light and heart and higher self. It’s all in there, I just have to tap in.
Sweat and yoga it out, every day. Move out anything that wants to malinger.
Notice and be present with any shadows or dark spots. Love myself through it all.
Love myself through it all. Yup.
Have fun. Best way to shift into a higher state of being and vibration.
Fill my own cup daily. Just ask what feels like a soul and body sigh of relief and do the thing.
Blaze my own light and vibration. It works even better than shielding and clearing, though do that too.
Be fully and happily in a “whatever happens happens” frame of mind - with money, relationships, work, and life in general. It’s always “this or something better” and as I feel it all here now, life will organize it for me, all the faster if I keep my grubby mitts off.
Feel what I want to feel now - instead of waiting for the love or abundance to give it to me, because it won’t. The universe is mirroring my internal world back to me. So I can just go ahead and feel loved and secure and abundant right now, and the outer world can do whatever it damn well pleases.
Now is the only moment that exists. So I’m gonna be in it and enjoy it.
Taken in Mill Valley after staring at the ocean waves for awhile.
There’s the path. So we just gotta walk it and enjoy the motion.